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July 2, 2017

Something I’d like to get off my chest…

UGH… Let’s get a little personal and talk insecurities. If you are a close friend of mine, you probably already know what this is going to be about.. If you don’t know, then I’ve done a good job at hiding it. I think it’s finally time to practice the self love I preach and share my biggest insecurity.

Let me start from the beginning. A couple years ago, I noticed a red dot on my chest. I wasn’t too concerned assuming it was just a blemish and would go away on its own. However, it did the exact opposite. It continued to grow bigger with time. I became very embarrassed and started to worry about my skin. Eventually, my Mom and I went to a dermatologist together. Part of me was terrified for my health and the other part was worried that it was just an unremovable blemish. Luckily, my health was in no danger, but I still left the office upset. This particular doctor made me feel as if there was nothing I could do, and I would just have this big read bump on my chest forever. OH, and that it could continue to grow (which it did.) He called it a “spontaneous keloid” and sent me on my way.

Yeah, I know, what the heck is it?? Heres some not so fun facts about keloids:

  1. Keloids are excess collagen produced by the skin in the process of healing…. so basically just a really interesting looking scar.
  2. They are rather common after surgeries and traumas to the skin.
  3. Even though they can be itchy or irritating, they aren’t in any way harmful to your health.

Since thats pretty much all I know about them, let’s get back to the story (I promise there is a happy ending.) I spent the past couple years searching for makeup to cover it, wearing shirts that hide it, and photoshopping it out of my photos. For example….

My frustration led me to see a second opinion. This time, I left with happy tears. There was an available treatment that would drastically reduce redness, size, and irritation. As happy that I am that it is getting smaller with these treatments, heres the real happy ending…

Self love. Cheesy, but true. In the middle of hating something that I couldn’t change (or thought I couldn’t) I put my energy into loving other parts of me. Instead of staring at my keloid all day, I taught myself to love my smile, my little birthmarks, and even the laugh lines already starting on my face. The pressure to hid my keloid began to vanish, because I was putting less focus towards it and more focus on the features I wanted to show off. Even though I’m excited to get this finally off my chest (lol, get it?), I’ve still learned to accept it. I’ve learned that this little insecurity of mine has played a huge role in my journey to self love.

The moral of this long story, I hope you find acceptance in your imperfections and fall deeply in love with at least one thing about yourself daily. At the end of the day, we all have something that we may not love about ourselves, but accepting these flaws makes us powerful.

 

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1 Comment

  • Sami

    I love this post so much. So strong and empowering!!

    July 3, 2017 at 1:47 am Reply
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