April. 12. 2017 : t h e b e g i n n i n g
Growing up, I repeatedly heard from my mother that every decision in life is made out of either love or fear. Overtime, that belief went deeper and deeper into my heart and I began to notice everyday how true it was. Starting this blog was another example of that.. and I’m about to jump in and explain why.
“What if I have nothing important to say?” “What if people think I’m annoying?” “What if I lose followers?” “What if no one even cares?” “What if…what if…what if?” Every time I opened my computer to work on “Unconditionally Creative” these questions bombarded my mind. These questions were screaming “select all, delete.” Completely fear based. Honestly… the best way I can explain it is paralyzing fear. I’d shut my computer feeling defeated and embarrassed.
Is that not the silliest thing you’ve ever heard (…read? Idk, still not sure of blog language.) As an artist, how and why am I so afraid of another creative outlet?? It wasn’t until I asked myself that final question, based on love, that I let go. Why should I care what the answers are to those anxiety filled “what ifs?” This is just another way of expressing who I am. If people relate to my blog, YAY. If not, that’s okay too. If I lose people, it’s probably going to be the ones who don’t understand me or my vision. The people that stay and that I gain are going to be the ones who support the best version of me and my happiness.
I’m so over letting fearful “what if” kinds of questions stop me in my tracks, not just with my blog, but in all aspects of my life. We have the choice. We can let the fear paralyze us, and give up. OR… we can use fear to empower and motivate us – to push us towards love. I know which option sounds better to me.. and I think you do too.
So, I’m deciding today, here and now (in this little local coffee shop where people are staring at me), that I’m accepting fear, loving fear, and then letting fear go. This is me telling you and myself, so I can be held accountable, that if I’m passionate about something, it is going to be an “I’m a little scared, but HELL YES!” instead of a “no because.. what if” moment. I hope your life is filled with “Hell yes!” too.